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May 19, 2003

Irrational fear

Six months ago I went to go see "The Ring" with my friend. I didn't like it at all, and just remember grimacing and wishing I could leave for the most part. During the on-screen showing of the Creepy Death Video, I dutifully closed my eyes. I am well aware of what kind of things scare me late at night when I am alone, and that was one of them. Eyes: closed. No problem. No demon child would be crawling out of the tv in a week to toture and kill me. I didn't watch the video.

So a week ago, Kristina finally convinced me that we should watch "Ringu" - the original Japanese movie on which the American one was based. I figured oh well, I got through it the first time, no big deal. Maybe this version would be better.

It was, I felt. I thought that that fact that it was slightly more subtle made it more suspensful and scary. Plus, the plot was a little different. I was *really* scared once or twice during the viewing, and had to grab onto Cody and squeak in fear, but I was doing great. I was even feeling confident enough to watch the Japanese Death Video without closing my eyes. Well, clearly there was my mistake. I watched the video. And now my week is up. Oh yes, that's right, because at 10pm or so tonight I might just ... die.

Now, I have oft reminded myself this week that such things do not really happen. It's only a movie and, after all, none of my friends have suffered any ill effects, namely death, after watching. No matter. Even with all the rationalization I can throw at ... myself, my heart beats a little more wildly when I think of it - as I get ready for bed, or as lift my face from the sink and jump to see the dark figure of my robe behind me in the bathroom mirror. Eeep.

Ok, so maybe I'll die when the Japanese demon comes after me tonight (the rational side of my irrational fear reasons that it would have to be "Ringu's" demon - Sadako - and not the knock-off American demon. I mean, after all it was the Japanese Death Video that I watched). I hope that the death itself doesn't involve a lot of screaming, I am a little tired today. But I am secure in the knowledge the if I die tonight, I'll be taking Kristina and Cody down with me.

Well I guess I'm ready. Come and get me Sadako. Please go easy on the screaming. I only regret that I didn't play baseball in the park yesterday on account of studying for finals. But what with being doomed and all, I doubt it matters how I do on the finals. Oh well, I'll live. Oh ... no. I guess I won't.

Posted by kati at 05:26 PM

May 14, 2003

Cake or Death?

Nothing turns my head like a bloke in a dress. Especially a straight bloke in a dress with a gun. Mmmm-hmmmm. I like it. Who could this be, you wonder? Well wonder not, it's just Eddie.

I saw him in a movie as Charlie Chaplin the other day and he made me all giddy. Plus, his makeup is better than mine and he can wear shoes that I would never dream of wearing.

What can I say, from a great distance that man makes me happy. And he loves jam. What could be wrong with that?

Posted by kati at 12:55 PM

May 05, 2003


Why is it that as I sit here, pounding angrily away at the keyboard, the community college powers-that-be find it necessary to pump every room in every building full of *freezing* cold air? It's only 65 degrees outside, if that. (and it's far colder indoors). Yet despite the fact that air-conditioning in these past winter months has been totally uncalled for, I notice it's effects in every classroom or lab I enter: kids are huddled together in corners for warmth, puffing out air that's cold enough to be seen. Textbooks are being burned in trashcans, attracting huge crowds trying to warm their stiffened fingers. Rioting ensues every time frozen students deplete the cafeteria's coffee supply. Those who can't take it are left for dead, as others quickly crawl underneath their half-alive, semi-warm bodies to save themselves. It’s every man for himself. It’s cutthroat. It's mutiny. It's cruel and unusual.

But in all seriousness, it is ridiculous. I'm sitting here wearing long pants, a shirt, sweatshirt, and huge wool coat, and it's still FREEZING! It's so cold in my next class everyday that sometimes it's difficult to concentrate. I mean, come on! It just seems rather silly to me. They've been air-conditioning us year round, and we want them to stop. It's not that I feel there should be heaters running, but I don't see that point in making it any colder inside. Isn't there still an energy crisis? Don't they want to save money? I mean, what exactly are they trying to do with this maneuver? Turn OFF the damn air-conditioners, you administrative fascists!! You're making us all MAD! (and by "mad" I mean both crazy and irritated).

Posted by kati at 12:38 PM

May 02, 2003

It's mad I tell you. Mad!

"Ahh, the Austro-Hungarian Empire - famous for fuck-all! All they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard."

There's this unbalanced vibe out right now, this feeling of ickyness, and I think this week that has manifested itself in feeling out-of-sorts, uneasy, or like everything is going wrong. I have been hearing many complaints of this nature over the last 3 days, and it seems to be a general, sort of across-the-board sentiment. Everyone is feeling a little shit-on, a little unlucky, a little cranky, a little nuts...

Not even "American Idol" was spared from this overall icky, "bleh," kinda feeling.

Perhaps this means there's cosmic misalignemt, or karmic imbalance - causing us all to slip around, loose our footing and look silly as if we were on a moss-covered ship deck during a tempest.

Perhaps we all just stepped in dog shit this morning.

Perhaps it's the weather.

I myself have not felt too much out of sorts, or not much more than usual. I noticed a rather generalized "pissy" mood overtake me a bit on Wednesday, but it passed. One can't be pleasant all the time, after all. I am usually unpleasant enough for everybody MOST of the time.

This week, though, everyone else seems to have it covered. They proverbial dark cloud that is looming around has got people, to quote Cody, "itching for a fight." But it seems to have pervaded everywhere, as even in my acting class this morning, everyone who worked seemed funky and disjointed. It was just ... eh. weird.

I imagine the silver lining will appear behind aforementioned dark cloud relatively soon, and all will again seem logical. I wish there was something to hurry it along, but I wouldn't know what.

Posted by kati at 12:58 PM