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September 30, 2003

The Real Deal

Burning at the stake. That has to be just a *terrible* way to go. It has to be worse than some other ways, right? Worse than being hit by a bus? Drowning?

I've come up with a great idea - for a razor with 28 blades. Or maybe a million. The Mach Million, I think I'll call it. We can market it as the closest shave since the razor with 27 blades. It weighs about four pounds at the moment, so it's still in the early stages of development. Some bugs still need to be worked out.

We're waiting for the right moment to bring it out. I think this one's going to be a real moneymaker. Oh yes.

Posted by kati at September 30, 2003 09:05 AM


Burning at the stake? Could be worse. At least it gets you out in the open air.

Posted by: sean at September 30, 2003 09:52 AM

I think being burned alive would be horrible, whether at the stake or trapped in your apartment in the middle of the night because the shitty wooden staircase outside has already burned down, leaving you to writhe in your firey grave of a home... I think that any slow death combined with mortal fear and knowledge of your impending death is the worst. Makes getting hit by a bus seem almost forgiving and kind. BTW, let me in on shares of your mach million corporation; I wanna be rich too!

Posted by: Kristina at September 30, 2003 11:22 AM

You've all brought on some nasty images. As the flames get closer and closer, and skin starts to bubble like a burning photo, you must only be able to think about how it's going to get hotter and hotter and hurt more and more - and how you never professed love, or called you mom that week, or returned that video. Fuck...late fees.
I for one will admit to probable blatter loss. But really, who cares? The shits gonna hit the flames anyways after the fire licks away your outer layers as quick as a cheap popsicle. And burning hair smells really bad and the fire fighters are gonna come in to clean and catch a wiff - how embarrassing.
I'm going to bed now. I smell smoke - wait that's my bowl :)

Posted by: Mike at October 1, 2003 02:14 AM

PS - In regards to your last blog, GREAT way to catch a fireman.

Posted by: Mike at October 1, 2003 02:25 AM