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April 04, 2003

Some lovin'

There's little in taking or giving
There's little in water or wine;
This living, this living, this living
Was never a project of mine

Oh, hard is the struggle, and sparse is
The gain of the one at the top,
For art is a form of catharsis,
And love is a permanent flop

And work is the province of cattle,
And rest's for a clam in a shell,
So I'm thinking of throwing the battle -
Would you kindly direct me to hell?

Actually, while I'd love to take credit, this poem is really the work of one Dorothy Parker. Dorothy was a terribly unhappy and mentally ill woman, who irrationally blamed herself for the deaths of members of her immediate family. She drank heavily, smoked heavily, and was unable to manage her finances. Although she was a prolific writer who even won an Academy Award for her efforts, she professed that she hated nothing in the world more than writing. She believed she was deserving of punishment, and punished herself most often through the act of writing. While she rubbed elbows with the big-wigs of the time (F. Scott Fitzgerald and others) and even married twice, she was continually miserable and alone. She believed that everyone around her was doomed to die - as they inevitably did - and even though she attempted to take her own life on three separate occasions, she lived into her 70's, where was too afflicted with rheumatoid arthritis to write. Hers was a sad, sad story.

Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live.

I have more in common with Ms. Parker than I would ever want (without the talent for writing, mind you). I share her despair and fear that one day I will share her lonely fate as well.

Posted by kati at April 4, 2003 09:56 AM


You're a poet! I didn't even know it! But I must say, love is not a permanent flop... it just feels like that sometimes. Keep your head up, girl!

Posted by: Kristina at April 4, 2003 10:00 AM

Yeah, I can help you out on this one...Hell, I believe that it would be the second star to the right (or was it the left?)and straight on 'til morning!!

Posted by: Jessica at April 4, 2003 10:07 AM

I can't offer much comfort on a blog (or in person, I'm not the comforting type), so I will just say that I think you *can* write. If you couldn't, I wouldn't read your blog.

hope you're ok.

Posted by: didofoot at April 10, 2003 11:13 AM

if (IF) you do end up like dorothy parker (IF) then at least you might have the *pleasure* of people basing a movie on your life in which jennifer jason leigh plays you. only it will have to be a future JJL comparable since you're still young.

my advice: endeavor to never EVER be someone who jennifer jason leigh would play in a movie.

p.s. ditto on the dido sentiments

Posted by: michele at April 10, 2003 11:46 AM